Life’s little mysteries…
Why is it…
… no one wants anything when I offer to grab something while I’m in the kitchen until I sit down and begin eating/drinking my own stuff?
… no one can ask me a question until I leave a room and walk halfway down the hallway forcing me to either retrace my steps or yell across the house/office?
… when I change lanes to get out of slow traffic, the lane I get in suddenly comes to a grinding halt?
… the only time I run into people I don’t want to see is when I have to make a quick grocery run and have on no makeup, wearing a ratty t-shirt (probably spattered with whatever I’ve been cooking), hair a mess, and looking like shit?
… my hair never looks as good as the first day I get it cut, no matter how hard I try to style it the same way?
… my cell phone takes forever to connect, but it’s not until I am swearing at some stupid motorist that my Mom/Hubs/kid/the receptionist at my kid’s school answers the call?
… when I’m in a hurry, every one in my life conspires to keep me from getting to where I’m going on time, but if they want to go somewhere they accuse me of being too slow getting ready?
… despite my every effort to avoid cameras, the one time I HAVE to get a photo taken, I get a nasty zit right in the middle of my forehead or a cold sore the size of Rhode Island on my top lip?
… when I find the perfect place to put something so I don’t lose it, I can never find it again ~ ever?!
… when I go to the doctor’s I have to wait an hour passed my appointment time, only to be brought to an exam room to wait another hour, and then once the doctor finally makes an appearance, is only with me for a total of 10 minutes?
… that only way I can find the back of an earring that I dropped, or last piece of glass I broke and thought I had cleaned up, is to step on it bare-footed?
…why is that?
Why is it when I ask my toddler “Do you want to go potty?” She immediately says “Yeah!” but when I put her dimpled butt on the toilet, she goes rigor mortis and screams “I DONT WANT TO GO POTTY!” and runs for the door?
I feel you on the haircut too.
P.S. I found you though the awesome Kori and her blog.
[Tara R.] P.H… my kids used to do that too, you would have thought I was beating them. I have to get my haircut today, I should take a picture just so I can prove it looked nice once. Kori is awesome, thanks for stopping by.
I have no idea what you are talking about. Honest. I don’t relate to any of these. Bwahahaha, right? My big one is this: why do my kids wait until ALL of the dishes are finished and put away and the counters clean to decide they need something to EAT?
[Tara R.] Kori… and can’t find a kitchen sink with a dirty plate to save their lives!
I stopped getting back up to go to the kitchen, and I pretend I didn’t hear the question when I’m halfway across the house. When questioned, I say, “I gave you a chance, you didn’t take it.” and “If it was important, why didn’t you get up to find me?”
hahaha
[Tara R.] Sue… oh, me too, but it still chaps my butt to have to deal with it.
Darn Murphy and HER stupid law…i hear there just passing them out everywhere now!
[Tara R.] Mom… really! What’s with that?
Girl! Get outta my head! I was just thinking these same thoughts!
[Tara R.] Dingo… great minds! I got a million of these.
I don’t know, but if you find the answer…….please tell me!
[Tara R.] Cyndy… I was counting on you guys to help me out.
I’m coming to Gainesville in a couple of weeks…
All of those are the million dollar question!
[Tara R.] Sarah… that must mean that I will never have the answers.
I believe we can blame that Murphy [expletive deleted].
Yes, I know you not a swearin blogger – I censored, just for you.
[Tara R.] Zoeyjane… don’t go changing for me… say whatever you want over here.
Murphy is a bastard, or fucker depending on what you meant.
chaps your butt.. heehee
heehee
Life’s like that! Been there . . .
Though on the earring one, it’s like when I’ve given up finding the backer/sock mate/essential component to something and finally throw it away because it’s useless without it, only then do I find the missing part.
[Tara R.] Mozi Mom… you understanding perfectly!
I’m reminded of the time that IGGY, the poor picked on cartoon character, looked heavenward and said, “Why me, Lord? Why always me?”
And the clouds parted and a shaft of golden sunlight came down from the sky. And the Lord’s deep and rumbling voice said, “‘Cause you piss me off.”
[Tara R.] Lou… I remember Iggy… that’s how I’ve been feeling lately.
Note to The Mom: Murphy is a HE!!
Why am I tired all day long and then can’t go to sleep before midnight?
[Tara R.] April… or finally fall asleep only to wake up at 4a and not be able to get back asleep.
I could have wrote that. Do you live with my family? heh!!
[Tara R.] Justmylife… it’s a vast conspiracy designed to drive all moms crazy.
Dude….ditto to all of it. Especially the haircut. Just spent a fortune on one that looked fabulous. Hasn’t been the same since
[Tara R.] Sandy… that is a conspiracy too by hair stylists to keep us coming back to them.
If you’re not stepping on something tiny and pointy, you’re stepping in something slimy and stinky. Bare-footed, of course. A great list that I can so very much relate to.
[Tara R.] Patois… with two dogs, a cat, AND a teenaged son, I have found some truly nasty things with my bare-feet, I feel your pain here sista.
I so relate to each and every one of these problems. My special pet peeve is having to holler at the kid – through the house, her closed door, the cell phone going off and the extremely loud music. I have threatened to get an intercom system because I’m sooo tired of having to stop what I’M doing to go get/find her to do something SHE’S supposed to be doing – argh!
Hope you have a nice weekend
[Tara R.] Dina… sista (IL) dontcha know I hate all the noise too. If it’s not the kids, its the dogs or Hubs (I think he just ignores me.) Hope you and yours have a great weekend too.
yeah, seriously…why is that? there is a big, huge conspiracy against women. that…is what it is.
xoxo
[Tara R.] Mel… a communists’ plot I tell ya!
…that my kids don’t have anything to say to me until I’m on the phone?
[Tara R.] Tasina… yes! It’s like some sort of post-hypnotic suggestions triggered by a phone ringing. Mine does the same thing.
Point taken..ON ALL OF THEM!!
[Tara R.] MP… I think I touched a nerve with a lot of people.
These are so funny and true! I especially like this one:
… when I find the perfect place to put something so I don’t lose it, I can never find it again ~ ever?!
I do that ALL the time!
[Tara R.] Penelope… and it’s always something vitally important, like car keys, or glasses.
Wow. We are living the same flipping life!
[Tara R.] Momo… kinda scary ain’t it?
The thing where no one needs anything until you’re already sitting…. I KNOW! I KNOW! It makes me think of that movie, “A Christmas Story” where they talk about the mom not having eaten a hot meal in over 15 years or something like that. It’s SO true.
[Tara R.] Terri… I had forgotten that. That’s exactly how I feel too!
I’ve accepted the fact that anything bad that could happen will happen to me. Maybe you should do the same thing…
[Tara R.] Chris.. surrender seems so… permanent.