In praise of the single parent

I went to a friend’s wedding shower recently. Met up with some good friends, had some wonderful food, even better white sangria, and engaged in a few obligatory party games… all in all, a good time was had.

This will be the second marriage for my friend. Her first marriage ended when her two sons were still in elementary school. Her boys are now both in their 20s ~ fine young men who have made us all very proud. 

Coming so close on the heels of my own anniversary, thinking about how my friend struggled as a single mom really made me appreciate how lucky I am and what she had to do to provide a nurturing, supportive, and loving home for her sons. 

I don’t know if I could have done as well as she did. I am in awe of all single parents who raise their children alone, and often without the help of the non-custodial parent. My own mother was a single mom, and I am still amazed at what she managed to do with little or no financial, or emotional support from my dad.

According to the U.S. census, there were more than 10.4 million single mothers in 2007 and another 2.3 million single dads. The report I read didn’t say how many of these single parents received support from the other parent. Based on my own experiences, and those of my friends, there isn’t always an involved second parent. 

This isn’t a bashing of non-custodial parents, it’s in praise of all those parents who do the near impossible to provide wonderful homes for their children. 

It is in praise of all those parents who were both mother and father to their children. Who saw that their children could play sports or have music lessons, while giving up many of the things they enjoyed. It is in praise of those parents who were involved in their children’s school or church when they barely have extra time to sleep. It is in praise of all those parents who found ways to provide a safe, happy home, sometimes working two or three jobs, and still finding quality time to spend with their children. 

It is for WT and PC who are raising great kids to be even better adults. It is for April, Kori, Zoeyjane, and Piper who are brave enough to chronicle their struggles as single parents with no excuses. This is for TH who was left to raise his pre-teen daughter when his wife decided she wanted something different in her life. This is for my mom, my step-sister, and my cousin C who raised their children as single moms and found new love to share their empty nest. 

As the child of a single mom, I can tell you that as your children grow up they will appreciate your sacrifices and come to know what it took for you to provide for them. When they become parents of their own children, they will finally understand what miracles you really accomplished.

This is an open letter to my mom telling her that I am thankful for what she went through, and what she gave me. To all my friends who are or have been single parents ~ I applaud you and marvel at your strength and character. Your children are truly lucky to have you as their champion.

 

(Ms. T… may you and MD have many, many loving years together and plenty of grandchildren to one day spoil!)