If momma ain’t happy…
We are gonna have a ‘Coming to Jesus’ understanding in my house starting today!
I am tired of getting up an hour before anyone else and still being the one who is late leaving for work. I am tired of taking a short lunch or working a long afternoon to make up for being late. I am tired of being the camp babysitter.
I’m talking about big boys who can’t seem to get out of bed, in the shower and dressed without mommy constantly coming into their room and badgering them. Then still giving me grief if they’re late. (Yeah, I’m bitchin’ about both of my men folk!) I have had enough of that shit.
We have these marvelous modern miracles called ‘Alarm Clocks.’ At last count we have close to half a dozen of these technological wonders in our house. They will be put into use and the human element will be phased out completely, effective immediately.
I will no longer be the morning shrew yelling to get out of bed, waiting until life begins again for these nocturnal undead before getting myself ready to begin the day. No longer will I return to these darken rooms to prod, poke, conjole, yell, and scream. I do not like being that person. I do not like going to work each day angry. And it stops now!
Get your own ass out of bed and take care of yourself.
Oh, man, you’re still doing that?!? I was really hoping that by high school, I could stop this morning madness! I feel your pain, Tara! I marvel at the amount of times I’ve said the words “get dressed now.”
[Tara R.] April… I had the same hopes for my high school kids too. But the mommy alarm clock is done! If they’re late it’s on them.
Amen, sister!!
[Tara R.] MommyTime… I’m testifying here sistas!
is that allowed?
[Tara R.] MomBabe… I’m not waiting to find out. They’re on their own as of now.
Oh, am I the only one who doesn’t have this problem? I guess this is one more blessing to count (tongue in cheek there, but you have to read my last post to find out why); I have the best kids in the world who get up every morning the first time without grumbling or complaining. They are so wonderful. The reality? I do still wake them up, but over the years we have developed a routine, and for the most part it works. It only too the oldest boy one time of having to ride the bus because he wasn’t ready in time and I left him. Or the daughter who was told by one of her friends that she stinks because she didn’t get up in time to take a shower. Three days in a row. Yeah, it’s SO on them!
[Tara R.] Kori… I know this is my fault. I let this go far too long. But, it’s over now. I’m taking back my mornings.
Luckily my 9 year old does that for us to my 7 year old. She is the morning person and he’s the disgruntled sleeper-inner!
Though way back before Kindergarten my oldest was not a morning person until we introduced the alarm clock, so maybe it will cause a great change in your household, good luck!
[Tara R.] Jen… got alarms in each room, each one goes off at least twice in the morning. Backs are turned and noise ignored. Let them be late a few mornings and we’ll see how they like it.
MAN ALIVE! I feel ya! I am so over it. Unfortunately my 8 year old daughet couldn’t give a flip less if she is late.
[Tara R.] Mrs. M… where we live, if a kid has 9 absences or tardies, the parents can be called before the school board. The Hubs drives my boy to school everyday (it’s on his way into work). If the boy rides the bus, he would have to leave the house about 30 minutes earlier. I know that’s not happening.
There is nothing I hate more than trying to wake men and boys up. Nothing. I did it for my husband for 10 years. I kept swearing I’d stop, but then he wouldn’t wake up, and I’d see a vision of him standing in the unemployment line and me paying for groceries with food stamps, and I’d kick his butt again. Once he got a job he likes that stopped. It was like a miracle. Now I don’t even hear him get out of bed. Now I have the same deal with my son. I hate it.
[Tara R.] Groovy Mom… maybe it’s just a guy thing. I didn’t have this problem with my girl. I know the men folk don’t like school, not all the happy with the job, but I like mine and would like to keep it. I HATE being late, to anything!
Sounds like blackmail is in order. As in – a picture of them lazy and unshowered to share with friends… THEIR friends… The friends that they wouldn’t want to see such a picture, not the ones that they would brag about said picture to.
[Tara R.] Nicole… unfortunately they are both impervious to blackmail. They truly wouldn’t care. But, I like the way you think.
My delight of a daughter (HA) asks her father every night to wake her up as he’s leaving at 6:15 and PROMISES she’ll get up but every morning at 7:00 the child is still in her bed. She does actually get up once I tell her to but I have been threatening this very thing for some time. You’d think a girl in 7th grade would want the extra time to primp before school (especially cuz she whines all the time that “my hair is frizzy (read curly).” I’m hoping that will change next year – last year of middle school and has made the cheerleading squad. (Can’t remember if I’ve told you this or not – do you really see me as a “cheerleader mom”???)
[Tara R.] Dina… I honesty believe if the boy had a reasonable school start time, this wouldn’t be an issue. But to ask a HS kid to get up at 6 every morning to be at school by 7 is wrong. Yeah, J sent us an email… don’t know what’s worse, a soccer mom (me) or cheerleader mom (you.) HA!
Hell yes! Was it as liberating to write this as it was for me to read it??
[Tara R.] Nikki… hell, yeah! I was so mad this morning, my boy said I had scared the bejeezus out of him. Thought I had gone totally insane. Good!
Go on with your bad self!! If it works, please come to my house and fix my husband.
[Tara R.] Momo… if it doesn’t work, I’m going to ‘fix’ my husband.
They even make alarm clocks that jump off the nightstand/dresser and roll away and hide!
My daughter breaks her alarm clocks.
[Tara R.] Sue… I got an alarm clock for the boy that has a helicopter rotor on top, when it goes off, the rotor launches and it emits this horrible high-pitched siren sound. It won’t turn off until you find the rotor and reset it in the base. The boy removed the batteries.
Alarm clocks or pitchers of ice water. You may need the ice water to help them understand what happens when they don’t get up the first time the alarm goes off…
[Tara R.] Ashley… ice water… haven’t tried that yet. When I was a kid, I slept in a pitch black room. No windows. My mom would wake my up by turning the overhead light on. Blinding! I did wake up.
*gives standing ovation*
[Tara R.] Maria… *takes a bow*
Okay, my son is 4 and I didn’t want to start the crap of having to drag him out of bed every morning so I tell Nicholas to get out of bed or I will spank him. He’s getting to the point that I can come in his room, flip on the light and say “Get up!” and he does it. His sister will never be a problem bc shes just like her dad and wakes up right away but Nicholas is like me, you have to threaten.
[Tara R.] Allie… have threatened, followed through, rinsed and repeated. Did absolutely no good. Boy is as tall and probably has a few pounds on me. Spanking isn’t too scary anymore. I have taken his Wii, skating, computer… It’s just time to let him alone. Either he will get up or he won’t.
Uhmmmmm.
Isn’t that what God gave us women for?
*ducking and running like hell…*
[Tara R.] Chalk… you’re a funny man, MW… a funny man. Tell that to your mom. I’d love to see that.
My mom had to harass my little brother everyday to get up until he turned 25. He did have an alarm clock but slept right through it. My poor Mom! Finally, she just let it go. He was late for work a few times and that’s when everything changed.
[Tara R.] Huckdoll… yeppers, that’s what I’m thinking. The Hubs could sleep through a hurricane… the boy too. I’m just done being a human alarm clock.
I feel your pain. I finally had to say that I was no longer available after a certain time in the morning. If kids were ready by that certain time I was happy to take them to school. If they weren’t ready then they were on their own as to how to get to school (read–they had to walk). It might take a few times of being late, but eventually they decide they would rather have the ride to school at the earlier time.
P.S. Like your blog!
[Tara R.] Kween… I like that idea of setting a cut off time. I will try that first and see what happens. I just have to stick to it. P.S. I like your blog too… seven kids? Five teens? Wow!
Can you stop by our house next week and give this same speech to my kids. LOL.
Tara, if you haven’t stopped by today, could you swing by my ol’ blog and check my latest post. Thanks!
[Tara R.] Joeprah… I think I will start my motivational tour next week. I can pencil you in sometime Tuesday. I’ll be right over.
Does the kiddo have a cell phone? Cuz you know they can hear those damn phones vibrate from across a football field!! Evidence: Tater can sleep through a riveting presentation from a brilliant English 4 teacher….and not lose a z. But apparently he woke up IN A JIFFY when his alarm went off at 4:30 in the morning!!!!
A Tip: You have to make sure you have the proper “aqua-placement” if you utilize the ice-water technique. My best friend’s mom used to do that to the littlest brother….and the little shit would roll over to find a dry spot and go back to sleep!!! (She’s a teacher, so she stopped short of actually throwing the pitchers at him. She was scared of getting reported to CPS.) So if you throw water,make sure there are NO dry spots.
Perhaps the fire department would bring a pump-truck over. Hey, it’s worth a phone call!
[Tara R.] Ms. H… OOOooo… a cell phone alarm. He does keep his close by his bed. I also have a friend who is a volunteer fireman… hmmm.
OMG, so it never ends?!!! This is what i have to deal with every mornign with my kindergarters & 8 year old! Ack. On my days off, i’ve taken to saying we need to leave when the big hand gets to the 10 & then just sitting back & waiting. If they’re late, they get a late slip. I’m not sure if they care yet tho…..
[Tara R.] Eve… I think the only thing at this point that will get him out of bed on time will be when he starts driving. The boy turns 15 (permit age) this summer. We’ll see how that works out when school starts back this fall. 8o
Goooo Mama!
[Tara R.] Cyndy… we’ll see how this goes in the morning. Fingers crossed.
Holy crap! This sounds serious.
[Tara R.] Chuck… I truly believe my son was close to ‘coming to Jesus’ this morning. I made quite an impression. I think he half expected my head to rotate around, and I did use the Linda Blair voice. It wasn’t pretty.
I have two words for you: CATTLE PROD.
[Tara R.] Tasina… I like the way you think!
hi TARa,
let em hang. they will get it after a few times of being late and realizing nobody will save them from themselves. nobody needs that kind of stress and anger in the morning. i get tired of being blamed for why couldn’t you wake me up??? i don’t play that. i don’t accept that. and i will not take responsibility for that.
stay strong girl, beany
[Tara R.] Beany…. that’s it exactly. Getting either of them out of the house in the morning is NOT my responsibility!
I’ll look forward to a report on your first day of the new regime.
[Tara R.] Patois… I set his alarm last night after he went to sleep. We’ll see how this goes. We did come to some sort of understanding. Let’s hope it continues this morning.
Good for you for putting your foot down!
Although I am totally guilty of being the last to get out of bed *hangs head in shame*
[Tara R.] Sandy… it’s not the last one out of the bed that bothers me, it’s the I can’t do what I need to do in the mornings because the men folk expect me to babysit them until they get ready. They are big enough to take care of themselves. Dangit!
I went on strike when my youngest cherub–now a high school senior–was in 9th grade. Unfortunately, The Hubby is still an “enabler,” down to making the child’s lunch every day! She knows not to Mess With Mom, but she’s still Daddy’s Little Girl!
[Tara R.] Melissa B… that’s part of the problem too. Hubs doesn’t get up until the last minute too and then tells me I’m getting too mad at the other idler. They are both big babies!
I hear ya! Unfortunately, my son sleeps right through his alarm. It only succeeds in waking up the rest of the house, including little Melo. grrr.. I don’t know a solution. I even lay his clothes out for him at night, like a five year old.
[Tara R.] Nissa… same here, the kid sleeps right through it. I may have to resort to the pitcher of cold water.
Just wondering – did yesterday’s fit work? Knowing my bro and the kid, probably did today but what about Monday???
[Tara R.] Dina… Hubs is TDY until Saturday. This morning wasn’t a complete disaster, but it wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops either. There is Monday.
The other day I was out of town on a business trip and my husband sent me a text to call him at 3:35 to remind him to do something. I am everyone’s calendar and alarm clock and do not relish the role.
[Tara R.] Heather…. when my husband is out of town he asks me to give him a wake up call too. I missed two days this week while he is TDY. Oh well…
Amen! I can’t wait to hear how you do this! LOL!
[Tara R.] Stacey… me too. The first day didn’t go so well, but I only had to use the ‘Exorcist’ voice once.
I am crying with laughter over here.. why? because I know this will be my house in a couple of years.. I mean my husband gets mad at ME if he wakes up late.. I am always like WTF.. you are almost 40. and then I kick him. ba hahahaha
[Tara R.] Kim… you laugh now! Just wait. The Hubs does that to me too, just because I can manager to drag my butt out of bed doesn’t make me the room monitor.
Asshat over here gets MAD when he sleeps until noon. Because I didn’t wake him up earlier. Really? Pshaw.
[Tara R.] Mr. Lady… Really! Pshaw is least of it. There was no mention of being the keeper of the alarm clock… EVAH! If only someone would let me sleep until 6 a.m. I’d be happy.
Oh the things I have to look forward to….hahah!
[Tara R.] Anna… you don’t know the half of it.
stay strong sister!
don’t give in.
this is not your responsibility.
peace peace peace, you will have peace darnit!
beany hugs (()))
[Tara R.] Beany…. Right! Darnit!
May I repost this on my blog? (Full attribution to you, of course!) I love it; it’s hysterical!
[Tara R.] Hayden… thank you, yes you can repost.